I am sorry dear friends that I didn’t inform you guys personally, but as most of you know I have had the misfortune of calling people with news of death a tad too many times.
This time I didn’t have the strength to call with such news again.
Also my first blog was written the day I found out the baby had died so I don’t even know what I had written. It perhaps was misleading and people thought I had already delivered. I didn’t deliver I was only pregnant.
Nor did I tell you guys earlier that I was expecting. Two reasons: I myself came to know by 2 and half months. Secondly, an important test was due this Wednesday the 26th Jan which would have told if the baby was structurally good enough for me to continue or terminate the pregnancy. I was only waiting for the 26th test results.
My baby chose not to put me in a tough place of having to perhaps commit a sin. God bless him/her..I will come to know soon if it was a boy or a girl, my Shiv or Shibani Chowdhury….
But that one month the baby stayed with me I fell in love with it. It was sweet enough to wave his hand at me on the 13th, a day before it died. I will live forever with that memory :).
As a friend mentions, God knows why He does put me in this position. But I do believe now its my fault, probably my past life sins. (Maybe I should sign up for Raaz pichle janam ka; )
Forgive my warped sense of humor, but I have come to terms with this death because of God and because of all of you guys pouring in your love by the buckets……
Thank God for such friends or should I say my extended family?!!!